Gamble with Desires,

love them :D on Sunday, January 31, 2010, 6:32 PM

From the movie ; Glitter. ^^

This video might already be known to many, but i think i enjoy watching this group's dance performance, i find them simply brave & daring! Way to go!

Right Back Up.

I'm not scolding you, just stating facts. on , 11:46 AM

27Jan'09 : Officially Over, Goodbye.

I have nothing much to say about us, its always the same thing. I won't be coming back anymore, because there won't be any improvement anyway, things will never be the same as the beginning either. Coming back will be back to square one, & i no longer want that. It's not that you cannot give me happiness, it's not you, it's me. I'm too demanding, perhaps i expect too much from you. I wanted the old you, but you cannot give me that. I tried being ignorant, but i can't. & finally, i emotionally give up, for real. I don't want to come back to the past & keep hurting myself, keep making myself suffer. Plus, i don't want to be taken advantage of just because i'm soft hearted. I've given you so many chances, no wait, too many chances but you didn't use any of them wisely. You keep telling me you love me, but you don't prove it with your actions. I’ve put my only faith on you. I know everybody change. But what matters is if you change for the better or for the worse. Guess you chose to become worse huh? You weren’t the guy I once knew. You’ve become so unreal, so unlike yourself. So, am I forced to adapt to the new you? I am not going to force myself, because i would not be happy that way. Being the man of the relationship, it means you have the balls to do your best to hold on to a relationship. Be it giving in when feuds occur, making minor sacrifices or randomly remind your girlfriend how much you love them. So drop your pride and work on the action. I gave you all the tyme to mend everything. Things got worst don't you think? The only person you think about now is yourself, not me. Now you put your ego before me and expect everything to fall into place just for you. Let me bring you back to reality, not everything will go your way. I’d hate to be the girl that drags you down and be a burden and hinders the way you want to live your life. It’s your choice now because I’ve had enough tolerating you. Besides, i know i give you too many problems & you don't have the energy & mood to handle me. If thats the case, we are better off alone. Goodbye.

HELLO READERS.

Well, it is officially over. I have finally learn to let go. I feel so much more free, so much more relieved. I feel i shouldn't keep going back to the past since it will never improve, therefore, moving forward is the only way out (: I shouldn't be torturing myself, now i feel so much more contented ^^ I have friends who will help me to cmpletely let go & not come back again, because coming back will lead me back to square one, as mentioned above. Thankyou Tassya & Zab (: Ofcourse, Zam as well ^^ He doesn't really know hes helping me, but to me, he is of a great help already & it is more than enough. I am sure, i have friends, especially my ladies & perhaps Arthur & Fares, who would be happy for me upon hearing this news. They want the best for me, i knw that eventhough they don't really say it to me, & i love them loadsxz ~ Anyway, i am suppose to be working at wild wild wet like.. Now? :DD But, i am not feeling that well, so i told my manager and he helped me get a replacement. (: Thankyou Adrian. &&, yesterday's work was simply AWESOME. Working with my 2 friends, Tassya & Haniz was 'Simply The Best' ( jokes :D ) & i would love to work with them again. Plus, having James as the manager for our shift was great as well. Hes so friendly, so gerekk, so outgoing & so cute :DDD Plus, Fadhli, ofcourse.... -.- hahaha! He was alright, very helpful & funny. Overall, work yesterday was a blast ^^ With Zam, it'll be better ofcourse ;D I will be staying home today to rot, Tues, Wed, Thurs & Fri i would be working morning shift, so wont be updating then. On Saturday, i might be attending another orientation training. On Sunday, i might be having a friendly match. Hopefully i can make it for the match, its been so long since i saw my SP's teammates, miss them loadsxz lah :D Well, i think i am done here, not really feeling so well, need to rest. Till here then, ciaosxz ~

Right Back Up.

-.- on Saturday, January 30, 2010, 12:01 PM

Emotionally, I Think I Have Given Up.

I'm beginning work at 4:30pm, together with Tassya & Haniz ^^ First tyme working same same with them. Hehehe, excited seyh! Anyway, i have nothing much to post today. Yesterday's CAAS training was tiring & boring, but i learnt alot about the airport industry. Went off to slack after the training, met up with Zab. Yadayada, then went home at 8pm. Was extremely tired out, Love didnt mamaged to speak with me because he has important things to handle & blahblahblah, so yeahs, doesnt matter. Fell asleep at 11pm or earlier, then woke up at 11am, washed up & all, so now i'm at the comp. Currently otp with Zam ^^ as well. Wanted me to write 9sentences about hym but he changed hys mind, he let me win & said i dont have to. Hehehe. Funny lah :D Oh wells, i think i am done here, ciaosxz ~

Right Back Up.

videos (: on Thursday, January 28, 2010, 4:26 PM

Remember our song, Love? I doubt you remember it .... :-/ HAHA.

I AM ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH THIS SONG. Justin Bieber IS JUST TOO HOT. *melts!* Want the original song? Go find yourself. Hahaha!

Right Back Up.

decisions. on , 1:42 PM

" Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart.

If we could just remember this, i think there would be a lot

more compassion & tolerance in the world. "

Took the Message from God application in fb
&& Heres the results :
On this day, God wants you to know..
..that the way you treat others is the way you treat yourself. True respect for another comes from self respect. True love for another comes from self love. True forgiveness for another comes from self forgiveness.

HELLO READERS (:
Currently, i don't really have the mood to post as i am having a bad toothache. It just happened all of a sudden and it immediately dampens my mood. Fck man. So anyway, yesterday met up with Tassya then we went to Redhill MRT station. Met Haniz, & we bused all the way to Henderson Wave :D We literally got lost lah, so we bused back & we overshot the bus stop that we were suppose to alight. Afterwhich, we brisk walked to the building that we were suppose to go to. Met Ziey & Don, then we entered the building & find our way through to the orientation training room after several phone calls to our different colleagues. Hahaha. Had our training and introduction till 8pm, 15mins break to smoke & pee, then carried on with the training till 10pm. Bused back to Redhill MRT station, trained back to Pasir Ris, bused back home, showered, washed up, otp with Zam & off to bed. I was absolutely tired last night & i had difficulty waking up this morning. But anyhoos, i still got out of bed. Washed up, did the laundry & used the comp till now. Hahaha. AbgAlf came over just now to do the ITE stuffs together with my help. We both got the same course, so we both decided to accept the course offered to us, which is Higher Nitec in Leisure & Travel Operations at ITE Clementi. Yeahs, super far huh? Wtf, nevermind lah. Hahaha. We can take a train straight there, so shouldnt be a problem :D We both also decided to pursue our poly diploma's in RP after we graduate from our higher nitec course, however, we need an extremely good GPA point, if i am not mistaken. Well, we will work hard together. &&, i have to takecare of hym as well -.- Not he takecare of me, wth right. Hahaha, whatever. Anyway, i won't be doing much today. Will be reading through my notes i received at yesterday's orientation training, afterwhich i would just read my novel which i just began on a few days back. Tomorrow, i have the CAAS training at the airport, will be meeting Tassya & go together. Oh yeahs, i would be working on Saturday, in the afternoon shift, together with Tassya :DD However, Zam wants me to work in the morning shift with hym ): Hahaha, i have to think about it. On Sunday, i would be working as well, but in WildWildWet for hosting. Sighh. I don't wanna do hosting man, but oh wells. For cash :DD Well, i think i am done here, till here then, ciaosxz ~

Right Back Up.

STRESS on Wednesday, January 27, 2010, 11:58 AM

HELLO READERS.
Work was awesome yesterday. I managed to memorize the steps on how to make the ice blends, not really that good in memorizing but i did my best. I even wrote it down in my notebook ^^ Hardworking eyh? Kay, macam paham. Hahaha. Anyway, work was pretty slack. Not many people came so we didnt really do much. Managed to make a new friend, sweet sweet Zameerul :DD eyh Zam Zam? Hahaha. So anyway, after work i went straight home as i was too tired. Today, i will be attending the orientation training at Redhill. So far right? Haha. Will be meeting Tassya first, then after that meet Haniz, Ziey & the rest all at Redhill MRT station. Oh yeahs, i receieved my posting school results today, & yknw what i get? I was posted to ITE Clementi to take Leisure & Travel Operations. It isn't that i am nt interested in the course, i am because it has got to do with my WildWildWet job, but the location is simple too far & i dont want to waste my money on the journey itself man. Besides, i am more interested in sports courses! Argh, yknw how frus & disappointed i am? Goodness. Sighh. Spoke to my Dad about it in the morning, he told me that i don't have to go to school now. I don't have to go through NS, so i can work and go back to schooling next year. Am not really sure whether i should.. But it is quite a good idea. Can work full time at coffee bean & earn money. No need to stress about studies. Coooooooool. Hahaha. But anyhoos, i got the same course AbgAlf. If hes going, then perhaps i might going same same with hym too. Atleast have a friend with me. If not, the journey is simply too FAR, i hate it man. Spoke to Love about it, & hes supporting my decision (: Oh well, i have to think & decide wisely before telling my dad my decision. Another thing that i can do is appeal, but it will be a very troublesome process. Sigh. I guess i am done here, gotta go get ready now, till here then, ciaosxz ~

HAPPY 1YEAR ANNIVERSARY LOVE! ^^

Right Back Up.

short post on Tuesday, January 26, 2010, 12:48 PM

Am meeting Arthur for awhile at 2pm to have a good chat.
Heading to work at 4:30pm, wish me luck people. :D
Working till 11pm, hopefully i won't screw up. Hahaha.
Hopefully i am able to memorize the steps of brewing the drinks *fingers crossed*
Hopefully Love is able to pick me up after work & accompany me home.
Its been weeks, maybe months since i last saw Love, pffft.
I am having a bad tummyache, am gonna need the toilet, pronto. :D
Okay, i think i am done here, what a short & boring post huh. Hehe.
Alright, am gonna use the toilet for bathing & other stuff now, lols. HAHA.
Till here then, ciaosxz ~

Right Back Up.

pictures do the talking. on Monday, January 25, 2010, 1:41 PM

Saturday, 23 Jan 2009 ; Out with Tassya & Rais.

Wednesday, 20 Jan 2009 ; Outing with My Ladies( excluding Arina ) to Henderson Wave.

HELLO READERS. Apologies for not having a proper update for the few days, have been busy going out & all. Yknw what? I finally have a job that allows me to work on weekdays, & i am hired at COFFEE BEAN! Will be working & trained temporarily at Ehub's outlet, afterwhich will be relocated to Terminal One's new outlet in the Transit area. ^^ Means, i will be the first & new batch to be hired to work at Terminal One's outlet, together with Tassya & Haniz. Today i am staying home all day to rot, i will be starting work tomorrow for the afternoon shift & i can't wait to learn how to brew the drinks! Hehe. Well, i think i am done here, i wanna go finish up my novel & then start on a new novel. Hehehe. Till here then, ciaosxz ~

2 more days to 1 year, WOW -.-" No celebration or whatsover though, how sad & disappointing. SIGHHHHHHH. )': Throw it, throw it all away.

Right Back Up.

Fight (: on , 12:42 PM

Cheryl Cole - Fight For This Love

Too much of anything can make you sick
Even the good can be a curse
Makes it hard to know which road to go down
Knowing too much can get you hurt
Is it better, Is it worse
Are we sitting in reverse
It's just like we're going backwards
I know where I want this to go
Driving fast but lets go slow
What I don't want to do is crash, no

Just know that you're not in this thing alone
here's always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Lets just go back, back, back, back, back to the start

Anything that's worth having
Sure enough worth fighting for
Quittings out of the question
When it gets tough gotta fight somemore
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having it's worth fighting for

Now everyday ain't gonna be no picnic
Love ain't no walk in the park
All you can do is make the best of it now
Can't be afraid of the dark

Just know that you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Lets just go back, back, back, back, back to the start

Anything that's worth having
Sure enough worth fighting for
Quittings out of the question
When it gets tough gotta fight somemore
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having it's worth fighting for

I don't know where we're heading
I'm willing and ready to go
We've been driving so fast
We just need to slow down and just roll

Anything that's worth having
Sure enough worth fighting for
Quittings out of the question
When it gets tough gotta fight somemore
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having it's worth fighting for

Anything that's worth having
Sure enough worth fighting for
Quittings out of the question
When it gets tough gotta fight somemore
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having it's worth fighting for.

Right Back Up.

Imma Loser. on Saturday, January 23, 2010, 7:35 PM

Whenever i say, " I'm Okay. " , " Its Alright. " , " Just Forget It Kay. " , " Nevermind Already. " , " Let's Just Drop It. " or " Let's Stop Talking About It. " , i actually meant the opposites & i am still not satisfied & am unhappy with the conversation that we were talking about. I wanted assurance for my fckin insecurities, paranoia & assumptions. However, you do not even take notice, unlike before. You really assumed everything is alright, you really think you are doing a great job, you really think you are doing your best & have put in your utmost efforts. But, i feel you are a total different person, 360 degrees changes. I hate it, i tell you. It seems, i no longer know you. Whenever i tell you all that, it actually means, i have given up. You win, i lose, as usual. You happy now? Happy about how miserable you have made me? Happy about how much you are making me suffer? Happy with your results? Seriously, congrats. You win, you always do.

Right Back Up.

SCREW US on Thursday, January 21, 2010, 5:55 PM

YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL. YOU WILL ALWAYS THINK FOR YOURSELF,

& NOT FOR ME, NOT EVEN ONCE. IS ALWAYS ABOUT YOU. YOU WILL NEVER SPARE A THOUGHT FOR ME AGAIN. EVERYTHING ABOUT US IS MINOR, NOTHING MAJOR. I AIN'T GONNA CARE ALREADY, I DECIDED TO BE IGNORANT, SINCE YOU CANNOT BE BOTHERED EITHER. EVERY EFFORT I PUT IN FOR US, ITS ALL GOING TO A WASTE! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED & HURT ME, DO YOU!? THEN, I KEPT BEING SOFT HEARTED, GIVING YOU COUNTLESS CHANCES. WHY DO YOU KEEP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME!? WHY DO YOU KEEP STEPPING ON MY HEAD, JUST BECAUSE I AM FORGIVING & WEAK HEARTED!? I HAVE TO ADMIT, I FEEL I DESERVE BETTER. THIS IS TOO TOUGH FOR ME. I AM SICK & TIRED ALREADY. I'M CLOSING BOTH MY EYES, TIGHTLY. I AIN'T GONNA CARE LESS!!

People, please stop asking me about my boyf & i, because my answer will always be the same, "Oh, nothing much, as usual." In fact, that is really the truth. So, don't even bother to find out anything about us, its useless & pointless, because to me, this love doesnt seem to be going anywhere. If he wants to treat us like crap/bullshit, so will i. I swear, i ain't gonna bother already. No more cries, no more fussing, no more caring, no more nothing. SCREW US.

Right Back Up.