on Sunday, January 4, 2009, 5:03 PM
Heyy earthlings. [: Yesterday went out with Tassya. Went to meet her at whitesands, then head to Ehub to do out Math homework. Semangat ehh? We didn't really did our work, instead we gossip about Ayun. 0___0 Hehe. Tassya helped me ask for a break up through her cell, he didn't reply. So i took it that its fine with hym & hes happy. It was the first tyme i experience a difficult situation in asking for a break up. Hah. Then we went back to whitesands as we're meeting Carolyn. Then, Ayun called me. I passed the phone to Tassya & she spoke to hym for me. But he insist on talking to me, so i did. I was really stunned for words, i was afraid of hurting hym. I didn't say much. In the end, he said that since i want to leave hym just lyke that, so be it. So, thats it. I feeled relieved for a moment. I was happy but at the same tyme disappointed & sad as i kind of miss hym, especially the moments we used to share. Letting go was quite difficult, but i managed to anyway. Then at about 6+, Tassya went home, so left me & Carolyn, plus Alep. Awhile later, we went home. [: Otw home, Ayun messaged me. He asked why i have do this to hym, he thought i understand but he guessed he was wrong. &, he still loves me. I explained to hym my reasons & everything, but hes disappointed, i know. Later at night, he called. He was crying. -____- Obviously i gave in lahh, became soft hearted. Sighh.. Sympathetic you know, what do you expect. I told hym we were just cooling off for awhile.Gosh, why love me so much? After how you treated me & everything, i finally gave up. I'm sick & tired of your attitude, but now you come expressing your affection towards me. Why now?? Skarang baru nk regret? I want to admit, the past few weeks my feelings for you was fading away. You knew i was soft hearted, so you cried? I know i might regert leaving you, but i already said that its for our own good, don't you think? We're going different schools already, why don't you just move on? I know myself, i can definitely move on, i will get someone way better than you, someone who really cares, who really worries, who really knows how to take care of me & who really loves me!!!! I never ever say that you're useless or anything, you changed but you don't even realize. Gosh, whats wrong with you?? You even lost your old friends, Fiqq & KhaiP. They were the ones i used to depend on whenever i can't get through you. But not anymore, you made things so difficult for me. I keep worrying for nothing. & You keep getting yourself into trouble. Maybe Shaa was right, you were pretending to be pathetic & want to gain my sympathy. She said you're a guy whose always hurting the opposite sex feelings, you always end up hurting the girl. Well, i don't want to get hurt by you, thats not gonna happen. You're just acting, i guess? Hmmm. I know, right now we're just cooling off, when the tyme comes, please let me go. Its for our own good, understand? 0__0
Told Effendy everything yesterday night. Hehe. He really understands me siaa. Why we have so many things in common arh, why arh?? Weird arh. Hah. Anyway, today went to Marina Square. Bought lots of stuff home. Hah. Great. Well, i'm tired of posting.... Waiting for someones message. (: Toodles ~
Labels: gave up
